Inherit from my EX?

9/8/2023 Ok, we have been divorced since July of 1990. But as think back over the years, there were things I bought for her that meant a lot at the time. Many came as a welcome surprise from her and a big smile which she shared. The most expensive was a diamond ring I had made for her. It had a center stone about 1/2 caret, surrouned by 6 diamonds about 15 points each. Having it custom made was a little pricey but was something Billy Johnson made at Brombergs downtown Birmingham. She made have sold this but I really do not know. The other ring was another ring from Brombergs and it had a semi-precious brown store but one cut and looked like a 4 or 5 caret brown diamond. This was set in a 14 caret yellow gold ring. It too she seemed to like. One anniverary I came on a coin silver 1944 half dollar and this was her birthday. Again I went to Brombergs downtown and got a sterling silver chain with a mounting that surrounding the 1/2 dollar with Benjaman Franklin on the face. The coin was a .88 percent silver now worth about 30 dollars. That with the sterling chain, I would guess $75.00 to $100.00 bucks. This really looked good on her with solid black or green back ground. My estimates are at the 60 or 70 prices, now today maybe $250.00. Again it is only an estimate. I bought her blue plates or bookends or small states, and some autographed by the member family visiting Brombergs in Downtown or in Mountain Brook. Some of these now are collectable in a big way. Then there was the Trunk Factory in downtown Birmingham. Ah the smell of leather upon opening the front door. I got to know of the owners there and could but bags or brief cases for her with the understanding I could return them. I don't thing she returned or swapped! Thank you my casual reader and I do hope you have enjoyed my ramblings. Knutt in The Ham in Alabama, US of America.

Surprise Time for All

9/3/2023 Now is the time for all good men to come to the time of their countrymen! Who has remembered the time of these new men and time? I am now just almost 86 years old. Correctly my age is 85 years, 9 months and 3 days. Pretty close to 86 yes? I was married to my first wife for almost 28 years, October 1962 until 1990. I met my new sweetheart teaching a Bible Study at 1st Presbyterian Church in Bessemer, Alabama. My minister encouraged me to get out and enjoy this new vesture in front of you. Karen was the leader of the Bible Study group and we entered in part, in her apartment in Hoover, Alabama. It was a weekly event and I picked up two ladies in a retirement community and back each pm. This got me back into SS in a new manner and that and Church and work got me back on myself in a more upright way. Now some 5 or 6 months after my divorce was final, I called Karen for a chance to dinner and maybe a movie. Now that week, but the next week, she said yes and we had Japanese dinner and closed the resturant. I jogged and was itching to get in a couple or three miles before my evening. She walked around the Hoover park as I got my numbers in.> I fell in love with her early on in our relationship. But we both knew we had to have some approval from our extended families. I have mom and 3 uncles here in Alabama and Karen passed with flying colors. My uncle Enoch approved of her when she enjoyed some Scotch with him. Bingo. My uncle Jack talked to me in his "man cave" put a can of beer in my hand and shared his thougths. Jeff, "you had better not let this one get away". He said too "I don't know how you stayed with the bitch as long as you did". I wish he would say what his thoughts! Karen and I married 2/21/1992. Our minister said if we married a week after Saint Valentine's, he would do it for FREE. We had a reception done by the ladies of the church and then a family dinner at the Formosa, a chinese restaurant we loved by when. We had a large room decorated and the tables in a U shape. Needless to say our Northcutt and Clark extended families closed down the place. We had mom and dad Clark staying with us and we barged in about 3am after a big fauxpa by our local hotel that will go unnamed. It has now been some 32 years, happily married and still in love with each other. Now too, both retired and enjoy TV, Kindles, eating with each other with a special lunch out with a good friends resturant Cedar House in Tarrant City. We work in a hair cut and maybe a doctor visit and maybe too shopping for groceries. Fun day. Pause for now. Welcome my casual reader.

Christian Burial?

Today is August 19.2023 Dear Gentile Reader, In the prior post, I tell about my ex-wife passing away. I learned about her passing away by my brothers friend calling him and asking if Betty Nutter is any kin? I must say it made me sad as I learned she had been battling cancel for over 10 years. I read her obit and there was no reference to her burial or cremation. I am not really surprised as she had not told me or her brother when her mother passed away. Learning about that did hurt as when her mother lived in Bessemer I went by her apartment almost every Sunday after Church. We kept me up on news about my boys and her Gardner family. We had to be careful as her daughter did not like me visiting or seeing her mother for some reason. Nan told Betty hit the ceiling when found a Pepsi can in the kitch sink and Church bulletin of that very same date. I called Nan then before going by there as her mother said it was best I not come by for a time. I did like she ask. Maybe 2 months went by and I again started calling after church. If Nan knew she was working it was OK for me to make a short visit. I left church material but I always took my Pepsi can with me when I left. Who looks in her mothers garbage can each time she was there to check if I had been by there. I game Nan two or three names of folks from church that she used if Betty ask about this material I left. I do not know if Betty had a service by a minister when she died. I have checked obits in the paper and other sources but to no avail. If my readers have a source, please leave a short note as to a source where I can find where she was buried or intered or cremated. Thanks ahead. Sorry this is a sad story and hopefully the next will be GOOD NEWS. Jeff the Knutt in the Ham

Betty Gardner Nutter Obit

Tuesday January 24, 2023 u The title is about the obit of my ex-wife and mother of my 2 boys. You can Google her or look up the Birmingham News of January 8th or 9th, 2023. She died December 24, 2022 and all I know is in the obituary about 2 weeks after she died. Unfortuately I am aliegnated from my boys so I have not heard from either Chris nor Jason. We have been divorced since July of 1990 or 32 years ago. Since I had not heard from her until last year, this alienation from the boys is understandable. The last 15 to 18 months she had text me, email me, or talked on the phone one time over 2 and 1/2 hours. Read on. I learned she had cancer back when she was only 62. She moved to Boulder, Colorado to live with my oldest Jasaon and his family. She tells me she had good doctors both her in Birmingham and in Boulder. But after somewhere around 10 years, she tells me she wore out her welcome. She said she returned home in Boulder, to find her room had been cleared out and her TV cable phone and email capability were now gone. She said that stay in the hospital she was expected to die there? What may have expired there I do not know, but she wanted to return to Birmingham. My oldest helper her return and she told me she was living off of 280 in Birmingham or Mountain Brook. She sounded well but her doctor said they had done all they could the last time and now she was on a palative medical situation. I get the jest she was not expected to live very long but she had a strong constition and was living far beyond their projection. I share some of her ideas as she wanted me to have a brown stone ring and a half dollar I had made into a Sterling necklace with the coin displaying her birthdate. I can only hope she shared this with one of my boys? We'll see. Pause here for now. Jeff

Reading between the lines

Today is February 21, 2020

How many times have you spoken or written a letter and have the recipient take the message
entirely wrong!  More than once, I would guess.  I have two sons both around 50.  I must say
both are totally displeased or mad with their father.  How long since I have talked to either one,
10 years with the oldest and 20 years with my youngest.  Why?

I can only made a calculated guess.  One, listening to someone else.  Two, reading a different
meaning into a letter or conversation.  Third, reading between the lines.

How many times have you gone into a meeting or met a person for the 1st time and later realize
you were totally wrong with the first impression.  I think of myself much like a coach or manager
of a team or maybe a single person, and their following another's direction rather than mine? I
believe this has happened and now they have cut me off with no way to have a dialog with either
one.

I am looking at a yellow legal pad beside me and inside are no less than 10 letters and my
realizing these too can be interpreted differently than intended. My biggest problem now is
I have no dialog with either and a letter or note is a monolog from me, their father.

I have no valid phone number or cell number where I might call or text.  No email address to
either and I look at the physical address and only assume the son receives the letter.  I now no
longer can send a birthday or Christmas gift as I get no thank you note nor phone call to say
it was received. I sent a gift with signed receipt requested and it was not his.

The kicker in this problem is I talked to a third party and now told gift, notes, letters are
intercepted by one party, never getting to the addressee.  I now want to wish all who
may read this and wish you the best and only hope this has not happen to you.  If you
have a solution to my dilemma, please feel free to comment.

1940 Dodge back when compared....today

12/23/2019 in Hickory, North Carolina

1940 Dodge back when and compared to today.

Can you see the mom and dad of today driving a NEW car without these.  Your 4 door vehicle today would not have the following.
1. Multi feature radio, only an after market AM only
2. Heater, and after market purchase.
3. No power steering.
4. No power locks, manual only
5. No heated seats, not available
6. Straight 6 or straight 8 engines ONLY
7. No power brakes and disc brakes not available yet.
8. No automatic trunk opener, a pull cable manually or key opened.
9. Black is only color available
10. No automatic transmission,
11. The stick shift was on the column,
12. A  clutch on the floor to operate the manual transmission.
13. The switch is in the dash not on the column
14. The starter is over the accelerator or under the clutch
15. Most cars had a manual choke to operate when starting.
16. Tires are bias ply and have an inner tube to keep the tire inflated.
17. The oil and lubrication is every 1,000 miles not 3 to 5 thousand.
18. Trucks had to be "double clutched" so don't ask.
19. The battery was 6 volt, not 12 volts.
20. The headlights burned out and you changed these yourself with a screwdriver.
21. No running lights on your car, a manual parking light only.
22. No removeable mats, you clean these like carpet.
23. You have a split windshield with a metal support in the middle.
24. No outside side mirrors an after market you install.
25. Cars had flats often and you learned how to jack up and install the spare.
26. 50 to 60 Thousand Miles was about the max on any engine..
27. The cars were make out of sheet steel as were the chrome bumpers.
28. No interstates and you encountered a "dirt" road on occasion.
29. No leather seats available, seat covers available after market.
30. Running Boards were standard on your Black car.
31. Radio Antenna was added when you install the radio.
32. No front wheel drive, that was for "foreign cars Only".

Christmas 2019 in Hickory, North Carolina

12/23/2019

To my kind and gentle reader,

I am writing this note from Hickory, North Carolina.  Karen and I have been here now 3 days after an 8 and 1/2 hours drive from Birmingham, Alabama about 450 miles.  I am still recovering from this long ride, being 81, I cannot decide which hurts more my hips or my knees.

After talking with Juanita until almost 2:00am,  it is sleeping until 9am the next day.  After breakfast, Karen and her mom have put together a 6 stop shopping list.  Everything from Grocery store, filling station, drug store, ABC store, Barnes and Noble, Aldi, and one other no one can come up with.

There is a honk of the horn and the sound of a garage store closing, I am up and running helping bringing in many sacks from the truck and body of the car.  I told Karen how I seem to feel someone has just arrived.  I think it is women are first to hear a baby cry, and a man hears the first unusual sound of a car engine, or the sound of an electric train transformer being left on over night. Funny thing I was told by an ear nose throat doctor that I had some hearing loss from taking a drug called Topamax.  Go figure.

Pause right now and i'll pick up a little later.

Previous was YEARS AGO and More....

6/24/2019

Don't we all tend to write about the past, sometime a very long time past?  I think we all do.  This is June of 2019 and I am 81 years old and retired about 5 years after working for over 50.  You know it takes a long time to adjust to retirement and of course not working everyday.

I wrote about a very painful time in my life going through a divorce after almost 28 years married to my first wife.  I was not looking for anyone when I met Karen but then found out we had so many people directing our lives.

Dr. Hold, Rev. Hanna, and some friends who felt like Jeff needed a life after.  Karen was leading a bible study from our church and she was nice, very good looking and single having gone through a divorce a couple of years prior.  No details but 2 years later we married and now almost 27 years married.  I would never guess someone at 53 finds that special person and we are so, so very happy.

Karen is now too retired and find we can tolerate each other being together all day almost everyday.  If you are reading this I thank you for following my rare posts and have a little interest in my post.  Writing too is my way of keeping in touch with a very good friend in a correctional facility in Childersburg, Al.  He has about 3 years completing a 20 year time being convicted of man slaughter.  I get letters from him about once a month giving me an update on his life and maybe a holiday card.

Jeff too has 2 or 3 fountain pens and write him a personal letter by hand giving it a little more personal touch. I told him to let me know when he is up for parole again and I would love to go and speak or vouch for him. I took a course in public speaking to help me in my occupation.  I then joined a local public speaking group that met once a week and learning how to hone up that skill of public speaking on the fly and to not be self conscious speaking to a group.  You would be surprise how much that helps in varied times you may be called on to do so.

The preacher ask me to do everything for prayer, reading scripture and making announcements.  Then my company ask me to speak to groups who ask my company to provide a speaker to a special night.  This got to be fun but a little scary at first.  But soon I found I could speak without sweating, heart racing and being about to think on your feet before a crowd.  Toastmasters was good for me for about 2 years but then my job and a new wife kept me busy.

Comment on my post and I will give you the address of my friend John who would enjoy a letter or card.  Thank you for reading this far and I promise to write more frequently.  I close wishing each of you to have a blessed ad and remember to keep Christ and Faith in your life.

Jeff the Knutt in the Ham (Birmingham, Al USA)

After 30 years, a phone call?

4/2/2019

This is Jeff, my kind and gentle reader,

Several week-ends back, I am watching television and my phone rings.  The caller ID indicated it is Betty XXXXX my ex-wife.  To bring you up to speed I went through a not to easy divorce back the week before Christmas 1989.  It was a total surprise as she told me on the phone about 3:30pm of that same day.

I was working out of town about an hours drive back home.  I came in through the garage door and her car was in the garage and there were apartment brochures and possibly some legal documents.  She greeted me rather coldly and said she wanted me our of the house right now.  The house was decorated for Christmas and our youngest son was home and our oldest son was flying in from NYC the next day.  I was shocked by what she said, "He knows about this"!  It tuned out she told the boys about the divorce before telling me!

So much for the short version as she left in about six weeks I guess getting he ducks in row with her lawyer.  I worked through Christmas week in our Tuscaloosa office then New Year week moving my job to our Selma office in Selma Alabama.  I was scheduled to work in Selma until when they could train someone.  The 1st week in Selma, I am delivered divorce papers.

I had acquired an attorney the week of the divorce and had been advised NOT to move out of our house as that could be legally seen as "abandonment" of our home in Vestavia and she would get the home if our home was not seen as my primary residence.  That said I told the company that I would stay away one or two nights then make 200 miles drives, a round trip.  I kept the upstairs bedroom and she slept in our sons bedroom downstairs.  This arrangement went on for some 6 or 8 weeks until she left me a note announcing her moving.

She found an apartment in Mountain Brook and she moved taking everything she needed.  A funny note, the next day I could not find a bowl for my cereal the next morning.  An you know she cleaned up behind herself, heavens no, there was a trash littering the hall and stair leading to our front and garage door.  There as a check register I found in the trash for 1989 and it told a huge story about how she went through her cash especially from 2, no 3, 2nd mortgages on our home.  The first was $24K, then adding another $10K or the one's I knew about and Then another for $10K she forged my signature on.  Luckily I had acquired a second checking account with just my name on it on another bank and it saved me.

Can I insert a funny note here midway in these divorce stories.  When she moved out I had no way to get in touch with her if maybe to forward any important mail or call if I had news about our 2 boys.  About a week or so later I get an envelope addressed to her and it is from her attorney.  I am not a nun so I carefully steamed the envelope open and there was a personal letter from her attorney and a bill for about $1,800 dollars.  The letter said how disappointed she was with Betty and they not received any payment outside of 90 days and all mail, email and phone contact information was not good.

The letter inside the envelope had the attorney's phone number and I called.  When I identified myself to her receptionist, she immediately told me it was improper for her to talk to me directly.  I ask her to put the phone on speaker and I ask if it was illegal or improper to "listen" to me.  I head no and I told he when I get Betty's address and possible phone numbers I was get the information to her.  And I did!

The next Saturday I drove to the main fire station in Mountain Brook and parked my car so they could see my Alabama Tuscaloosa tag with 63-XXXX on my company car.  I got out of my car and looked lost needing help.  The fire chief came out and I introduced myself and that I was looking for a B. Nutter who might have an apartment in Mountain Brook.  The chief said "If he lives here, I think I can find out where!"  He took me into his office then a huge squad room where a very detailed map of Mountain Brook was on the wall.  He then got on his desktop computer and brought up some vital information he wrote on a piece of Mountain Book stationery.   I was looking at the map when he handed me the note with her address and phone number.  I told the chief thank you and he said "If there is a party I hope you have fun!"  He put his finger on the street then drive as to how to get there. I felt like "Columbo".

That evening I called the hospital where she worked and asked for the 3rd floor nursing station.  Heck, I don't know where she worked but now she had Columbo on her.  When they answered, I said "Oh, I made a mistake as I was calling the coronary unit, did I dial the wrong extension?"  She immediately told me I had 1389 and I needed 1589.

Monday morning I again called Betty's attorney's number.  I gave her receptionist the two phone numbers and her mailing address.  She ask, "How did you do that so quickly?"...Don't ask I said as it could be seen as a little illegal or at the least misleading.  I had resealed the envelope with the bill inside and I had penciled in for the postman to forward to this address.  Done and done.