Mom's Sister Barbara's stroke....

If you cannot follow a trail of tears right now, do not read any further. My mom for 68 almost 69 years passed away this December 7, just 25 hours from her 92nd birthday. We had her memorial and funeral on the 11th and getting through this and Christmas without her is or was a little hollow without her in our life.

But mom lived a long and a good life and she is no longer in pain but in His care with her husband, her sister, and brother and the sweetest grandchild that went before her. Someone said to me at a time I needed some new preview of these happenings and he said the stands in heaven were cheering her arrival, a multitude of saints and angels now carressing her where I could no longer. She is happy now and without the rigors of old age and pain of over 5 weeks in the hospital fighting until there was no more fight left in her. But now...

Mom left 3 brothers and 1 sister behind and Barbara, who is my Bobbie, is only 7 years older than this nephew of hers. She hugged me at mom's memorial and told me to remember "Jeff, you know I am the only sister left and I need you now more than ever!"

Karen and I drove to Hickory, NC to the Clarks for Christmas with her mom and dad and family. Christmas eve night, my cell phone rings and it is Laurie, aunt Barbara's daughter. Bobbie did not show up Christmas eve afternoon as expected and did not answer her phone. They called her neighbor across the street and he said Bobbie's car was in the garage but she did not answer the door or her phone.

Bobbie's son Russ and son in law Steve went over there and could unlock the door but had to break the door in as she had the dead bolt and chain on the door. They called for her, but no answer. Russ found his mom unconscious on the far side of her bed next to the wall.

Laurie called me from the ER and told me the paramedics had just gotten there with her mom and they determined she had been unconscious for a time having suffered a stroke either during the night or early morning. Here I am 450 miles away and the plaintiff sound of Laurie's voice asking me "Jeff, what do I do?" I tell you this as Laurie told me later that I was the first one she thought of when looking for what to do? Do you know how helpless I felt listening to this daughters voice through tears and choking on her words.

I went though this with losing mom and she said I would know what to do if anyone did. What a compliment to me that words do not work in my telling of how I felt and even as I feel now. But like the Good Book says "he strengthens those that believe in Him and will only give you challenges that He knows you are capable of handling!"
Karen could over hear my conversation and walked over to the sliding door and held my hand as I attempted to comfort her.

I don't know even now where the strength and composure came from but I must have said the right words. She is now with family and I called mom's and Barbara's brothers and got them all in the loop of caring for this family. Jim drove from Gadsden the next morning but told me that night not to come home until he found out more detail. Jim stepped into the gap where Jeff could not and he called me on his way to Birmingham Christmas morning to help support the family and find out more than Laurie could tell me.

Bobbie was placed in intensive care and is still in ICU in Brookwood hospital at this writing. But just like when mom passed away, family and friends stepped up and were there for them with love and care. Bobbie had a major stroke, cannot speak, and is paralyzed on her right side. Jim called me about every 6 hours and discovered as I did with the nursing care at Brookwood, they are just great. Laurie called me again Christmas night and told me and Karen again to stay with my family as I needed them just as she needed hers now with her.

The news is some better. Bobbie is progressing slowly, is conscious and recognizes her family. She cannot speak but her color is better, her vitals are better and the doctors have her sitting up now in bed and testing her reflexes. She is trying so hard to talk and to smile and is conscious of what is said in the room. Laurie called me again this afternoon after returing to Birmingham and she encouraged me to not come tonight as her mom was tired and sleeping but to come Friday morning.

Laurie and Russ have been at the hospital at all hours over the last 3 days but she was now on her way home to get some food and much needed rest in her own bed. Laurie sounded so encouraged as were the doctors that there is a possibility she may be moved out of intensive care late Friday or Saturday into a private room.

If things could not get worse or more complicated, Karen had to have necesary hand surgery on her right thumb today to release it from some scar tissue that has been very painful. So I have been nursing a wife with only one hand and she cannot dress, bathe herself, tie her shoes, put on her clothes, cook, anything for a week from Friday when she sees the doctor for a checkup. She is now in bed with pain medication and I have to plan short trips out and back to make sure she is OK. Got another ball for me to juggle right now...well i've handled all of them until now. Maybe this is His way of strengthened one's strength and faith in Him.

Thanks to all my friends and readers as prayer is holding each of us up right now. I will fill in more info on aunt Barbara after I see her tomorrow morning. Thanks,
Jeff and Karen

3281 Alabama USA

I love this circle or cul de sac I live in. We called it a "deadend street" when I was growing up in Bessemer, Alabama. I think if these neighbors of mine knew where I grew up, they would not let me live here. But heck, only you guys who read this in NYC and California and you could care less.

How about that Evan and Amie that do the artwork on the Knutt character you see that they think looks like me. Just because I wear glasses, slender face and bald, they think this is a good likeness of me. When I look in the mirrow, I think of Van Johnson, Victor Mature, Jimmy Stewart, some of the handsome men of the silver screen of yore. I think I am just as good looking as they are or were.

Do they know my backyard is still in my backyard? That is where you keep it, do you not? I have one tree stump I have to go and investigate. I put some empty clay pot on the stump along with the saucer that goes under them. I don't do this in summer as it would be a breeding ground for mosquitoes but in winter it is a gathering place for all kinds of aninmals.

It began with a sort of bird bath but then the squirrels took up resident and now the cats look for dinner there. A neighbor said he saw deer in my back yard and at least one buck and he was 'snorting' up a storm. I have to be careful now just pulling into my driveway at night. You think I am kidding but you don't want to startle any deer in your head lights. I have hit one and one has hit me and that is two too many.

The neighbors have kept my leaves raked the last few week while I was away most of the time. Karen decided on the perfect gift to repay them. What are the folks that send the catalog with fresh fruit sent from Texas. We sent 4 of my neighbors 1/2 bushels of 1/2 Naval oranges and pink grapefruit. Plus we sent Karen's mom and dad and ourselves a full bushel. By the way, I have not had one today so this has only made me thirsty for a big, juicy naval orange. Bye for now....

Jeff the Knutt from the "Ham"!

Midgie, Our Angel in Heaven

December 9, 2006

Dearest friends and family,

Had our angel lived 25 hours longer she would have celebrated her 92nd birthday. But she told me in my heart that she wanted to hold her husband's hand on "this" birthday.

So many prayers! So, so many prayers! I now know when and how prayer supports someone during times like this. But why do I feel relief? I told Karen this was not the feeling I wanted to have and felt guilty about that feeling. But she explained that I had seen mom go through such a terrible time fighting pneumonia and was there everyday. You don't want your mom do go through this! It hurts you deep inside where you did not know you could hurt. But now...

Jesus took her hand from all our earthly hands and took her to heaven to be with the saints. She is with her husband, her sister, her mom and dad and everyone who went before her are there to greet her.

Mom now is whole, she can walk and talk and is young again. She is not burdened with this earthly body that gave up with too much pain. She now is looking down on each of us with heavenly eyes, seeing that we do right and most of all celebrate her life, not her death. She is now in that mansion promised in the New Testament and would not come back if she could.

Monday December 11, we have visitation planned in the parlor of the First Presbyterian Church from 10:30 am to 11:30 am, with graveside services and burial at 12:00 noon at Cedar Hill Cemetery. The women of the Church have a luncheon planned in the fellowship hall for guests and family. You may stay after visitation or after the service at Cedar Hill. All are invited.

Come celebrate her life! She was the mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, friend to so, so many in her wonderful life here. She wants us now to be happy, as difficult as that may be, but try to be happy with us and for her. She would ask kindly in her southern lady fashion, and would that not be just like our Midgie?
Love to all,

Midgie's sons Jack and Jeff