5,170 Days
I guess I should start this post as Dear Chris? May 2, 2006 is his 36th birthday. Now what does 5,170 days have to do with this. The 5,170 days is how long it has been since I have seen or talk to him. I think of all the stories in the Bible about dads and their sons and Chris fits perfectly in some of these modes or stories.
I watch TV and some reality shows are about moms and dads who have not seen their sons or daughters in years. The reasons vary from abusive or overbearing parents, or drinking or drugs or something else completely off the wall of a normal family.
I really don't know what I did wrong where my two boys are concerned. Disciple falls on the shoulders of a loving father and I did 'try' to teach my boys some live lessons I learned from my mother and father. I taught them from mistakes I made that hopefully now they would not.
I started this post with the idea of telling you about my 'protigal son, Chris'. The words just do not come easy as I have not seen or talk to him in almost 15 years. He still has some big time hurt toward me when his mom and I divorced in 1990. He came to my wedding in 1992 but left soon after that for Boston, then NYC. He is doing OK as his brother fills me in on a little about him. I can only hope time will heal his wounds...I love you Chris, Your Dad!
I Google my son Chris recently and up popped a publishing company in, I believe, Florida, and they have a book by Chris. "The Way Out, a gay man guide to freedom...."
Chris has been in NYC for maybe 15 years and this was the place he chose to 'come out of the closet'. He tells in his book of his pain living in Vestavia, his hurtful, negligent father, who he feels is schizophenic(sp.) and ruined his life.
I can remember time and time again when Chris ask for exorbatant things far outside our limited budget with his brother in college and high living expenses. I told him NO and his mother said YES. He identified her generousity as love as she was the only source he saw money coming from.
Old dad just paid the bills. He never knew we how much the house payment, the car payment, his brothers expenses, his mothers spending, or anything outside of just money and expensive things coming from his mother. If he were younger at the time, I would say she was spoiling him, but in his teens, he saw virtually no limits to expensive clothes, Polo, and all the expensive "branded" products with logos on the shirt and pants.
Here we were stuggling with paying bills and even his mother was buying $300.00 purses and expensive dress and gowns from "Back Street" on the 2nd floor of the Galleria. This area was blessed with high end clothes, shoes, purses, everything to look the part of the 'brookie' or Mountain Brook native whose dad made maybe millions. But that was the role she and he chose and what could I say? Nothing.
When his mom left in early 1990, I found a garbage bag of unpaid bills and credit card receipts for things I never saw or heard of. On the floor was her late 1988 to early 1990 bank register along with unopened bank statement. What a revelation.
I can not begin to tell you how she and Chris spent the family fortune on 'stuff'? I only figured now that she was sick and surely knew this was wrong.
I am going to write this in installments as now that Chris has opened his life to the world, I feel he may be interested in another view of his world from his fathers point of view. Like his book, it may be painful, but he chose the print media to tell his story and promoting the 'gay culture'. So the gloves are off. News at 11:00.
