Midgie at Meadowood Friday November 4, 2005

I woke Friday morning filled with good intentions of running my errands early and getting to Bessemer Friday afternoon. I begin this dialog, or really monolog with Thursday afternoon. We, Jack, Karen, Bobbie and me, got out of the staff meeting, relieved in a way, that mom is progressing and there is the kind of care available to help her. The one person who has been a part of mom's recovery is "Ashley", the 7-3 RN I met mom's first day there. You know what they say about first impressions. She was just wonderful, caring, loving, and told me mom would be well taken care of. I know doctors get the credit for most people getting well or better, but the RN's run the hospital. Sure the doctor see's mom and makes the critical decisions but who executes and is there 24/7, the RN. I hate to use my first wife as an example but I saw it in her and saw it at both Carraway hospitals at all times of the day and night. The RN's are your eyes and ears of how a patient is doing and his or her care. They make things happen!

I got off the subject. Jack had to go back to school and Mrs. Brock was ill, so he had do sick mothers. I left word for Jack on his cell phone to ask about Mrs. Brock but I have not heard from him as of this Saturday morning 11/5/2005. Thursday afternoon after Bobbie, Karen and I visited with mom, Karen too had to get back to work. Bobbie and I left last and I had a few things to get from the grocery store that Peggy (and I) needed to make our snacks and sandwiches for mom and for Judy. It began with Peggy bringing a chicken salad sandwich for mom and included Judy. Enjoyed by both as the snack in between lunch and supper. I bought some pimento and cheese and individual containers of butterscotch pudding mom likes as well as some apple sauce. I put all these in mom's refrigerator and Peggy and I have been doing mom's laundry and making her snacks while the clothes are washing and drying. I bought eggs, bread, devils food cakes, and the little squatty quart bottles of 2% milk we put in the refrigerator on the the 4th floor. Anything you put in there had better have your name and room number on it if you don't want someone else to enjoy it. I learned the hard way.

Thursday's meeting took a lot out of me! I don't know how it affected Jack Nutter, Bobbie or Karen, but being mom's primary caregiver for 4 years and 3 months, this hit me hard emotionally. I am not a softy but she has more or less been my ward for all this time. Now she is someone else's! I told Karen I felt like I had failed in some way? But Karen did not pull any punches and told me the truth. I did not fail! She is 91, or almost 91, and she needs more than you (with Peggy and Ms. Rebecca) can do at 513. But somewhere down inside my Id, is some kind of negative feeling I cannot seem to shake.
I tell you this as all of you know me. I am OK, but I guess I am in some kind of transition but really now OK.

Friday morning I could not tell you I was OK. I worked 3 hours on Zeigler business then some housework like dishes and laundry and about noon sat down to rest. I now was thinking of going to Bessemer and mom. Nope! I have a recliner and I fell asleep and woke up at almost 4:00pm? I had a disconnected feeling, like most have, when they sleep during the day! I missed the boat didn't I! I called Peggy and mom was fine. I called Karen and she was fine with my being a 'slug' Friday afternoon. I had the phone, my cell phone and company radio and no one called for almost 4 hours friday afternoon. Maybe I needed this? I admit, I feel better after this rest. Midgie is fine and I have plans to see her today Saturday.

Thank you family for all your prayers for mom and her caregivers. They are working and mom is progessing yet slowly. I have to keep reminding myself she is almost 91. Keep the cards and letters and phone calls coming in. I did a color name tag for her door. It says "Julia Speigner 403B, Mildred Nutter 403A, and on the borders it says "Welcome and Come In!" I think both will love having it on their door! Gotta go,,,Jeff