My mom Midgie at Meadowood Sunday 10/23/2005

Bobbie, Jimmy, Billy, and Angela for Enoch, and bro Jack Nutter

I have been writiing updates on your sister and mother, Mildred every day or so. Each of you know her situation but I hope you understand why I feel the need to write this for you and for me. I have heard from some and cards letters and cell phone calls are great. Midgie does not have a phone in her room but she can talk on mine or Bobbie or even Peggy's cell phones. This preface is necessary as you may or may not have time to read my ramblings about my mom. My efforts are for you to see her as I see here and mine is to be as honest as possible in telling you these stories about her. Pardon some include me, for as 4 plus years ago, I have been primary caregiver, manager, conservator, etc for mom. So here goes, beginning her second week in Meadowood.

I was hoping Karen would feel like going to SS and Church yesterday as it was Randall (Randy) Kesler's first sermon as our new minister at 1st Presbyterian Church in Bessemer, Alabama. Randy saw mom his first day, last Monday at UAB West, and has visited mom several times at 403A at Meadowood. But Karen's neck injury was giving her some discomfort Saturday and Sunday and I did not want her lifting or doing more than necessary while on the mend.

I made it to SS and Church and guess who I sat next to in the Friendship Class at SS. Randy and his wife who he calls Crickett. Now who is going to ask questions with Clyce and Ruth, our retired minister, and our new one? But I did. It was a good group of about 24 with only two or three empty chairs. Dr. Holt, mom's retired doctor of many years, is still teaching SS as he has done for eons. He is still as sharp as ever on his bible.

So many ask about mom, especially the ladies in the rocking chair class next to ours. Our class had sent mom several cards and I was walking in the hall in SS when these gray haired ladies button holed me about mom. They wanted detail, not just the fluff. I wish I could draw their smiles and tell you all their words of encouragement and concern for mom. I was almost in tears when I left them. They have know mother forever and know the Nutter and Northcutt family and love each of you in a very special way.

Randy's sermon was about Jesus calling the disciples to preach and his commissioning them to carry on his teachings. It was a calling for them to follow HIM as it was a calling that brought Randy from South Carolina to take care of 1st Presbyterian in Bessemer. It was not about Randy, it was about all of us being called to do what Jesus did for and to his disciples, i.e. to be ministers of the Word. He made you skin crawl, or did mine. He is a moving speaker, just what We needed.

I went by mom's house and got her another set of pajamas, some cuddle duds and a few things from the drugstore on the way. Mom was in her room, eating lunch, and Ms Rebecca (one of my caregivers from 513) was there, as was her roommate Judy. I had thought about a private room but the interaction with Judy and some care and information Judy shares with me and with Jack is good for mom. I had brought her Sunday paper and that is always a treat for mom.

The nurse came and told us they were having a 'sing' in the recreation area and if we wanted a seat, we needed to get out there. Mom has to be in a wheel chair for now as her leg strength and balance is not the best, so as they said "and away we go!". We don't get seated good when the Alabaster Church of God singers get off the elevator. They set up in the corner right next to where we are sitting. They are soon passing out song books and we all are singing some hymns I don't think are in the Presbyterian hymnal. But that is OK with this 'singer' who in his lifetime has been Methodist, Baptist, and Presbyterian. Well, not a Baptist but loved the Babtist church and that was where I went on Wednesday night when traveling. But that is another story.

Mom did fine and I watched her face as all of us sang following the song leader. For me, it was listening or following the first stanza, then joining in on the next 2 or 3 once I got the rythm down. It was fun. This is a predominately black church in Alabaster and the leader told me afterwards they had been doing this for the 17 years he had been there. He said they go to several nursing facilities two Sunday's a month as part of their Christian Ministry. They were good, knew the words without the songbooks, and very soulful, the good old hymns I would hear in the Baptist churches I visited in my lifetime. So it did not take Jeff long to catch on.

I had gotten mother's replacement Medicare card in the mail replacing her lost one. I got mom to practice signing her name of the envelope before getting her to sign her new card. She did it! They had ask at Meadowood to bring this to the office to photocopy for her file and I did. I took a short break, a glass of tea for the dining room and soon Jack Nutter was there from Florida. He had been invited to stay with Roy and Pauline at their new home in Seacrest, Florida for the weekend. Jack and I stayed in touch by cellphone and email of mom's day each day he was away.

Mother was still in the recreation area enjoying the company of her two sons and she tried to interact with us, which she does. Her smile is worth it all. Her I love you is worth it all. Her wanting you to come back is worth it all. Her 'how old am I, 88 or 89?" "no mom you are 90" is worth it all. "What time is it? 3:30 mom" is worth it all!

I left mom with Jack and Ms Rebecca's wonderful care and headed home to see about my Karen and she if she is feeling better. She had been to Blockbuster and swapped our two movies we had rented for new ones, one called "the librian" and the other is "warm springs". Have not watched them yet but the jackets looked interesting.

I hope you forgive my ramblings this Monday morning but my life is entertwined with mothers and I really don't know how to filter me out. We are all part of her care, and a very complex puzzle right now. I saw Dr. David Burthall (spelling) last week and he told me the intense physical and mental exercises mom would get to find out how much she can do and possibly recover from this 'event' that caused her to be in UAB and now Meadowood. I am not a doctor or nurse but I know mom as well as anyone and more than most. We, all of us there, are still in the learning phase of this nursing and rehabilitation plan for her, so bear with me as I learn!

Write her a note or card as mail is Great! She loves opening envelopes and our telling her who they are from. She may not be the sister and mother and grandmother you have known, but she still is Midgie to all of us. Her love comes through no matter what and what kind of day she is having. She has always been the giver, never the taker, so this being cared for goes against everything she is. We let her entertain us. We let her do for herself as much as she can. Doing everything for her is somewhat of a mistake as it takes the initiative away for her. Dr. Portante said "let her initiate actions, her actions, as this is what dimentia patients lose."

Love to all her extended family and friends. Again I apologize for rambling but you all know Jeff, brother, dad, and friend and that is the way I talk, don't I. Say goodbye Jeff!

Bye,



Jeff Nutter, Jr.
3281 Tyrol Road
Vestavia Hills, Al
35216-4268
(H)205.979.1898
(C)205.401.5731
(B)800.392.6328
(VM)800.582.6328 x233