Caring and What a Day is Like!

I am the primary caregiver of my 90 year old mom and I sometimes wonder about what all it takes and does anyone know or really care. I guess as long as I do this, no one has to care or think about her? Do they think their mom, grandmother, sister, or aunt is still taking care of themselves? They can rationalize all the reasons for not visiting or caring but they would have a difficult time convincing me. If you have read this far, let me stress that I do this because I WANT TO! I read somewhere that if you live long enough you are an adult once, but a child twice. Well said.

I will use this last Thursday as a typical day. I have a pm paid caregiver that comes in about 2:00pm to relieve me each day, but she is not their mom nor is it their house. So, that said, things go undone or unseen? I drive 52 miles roundtrip and back in the driveway so if we do get to go on a trip, the car is at the base of her ramp so she can get in easily. I look at the front porch and there are not one but two newspapers. I walk to the mailbox and there are two days of mail as I had to work all day the previous day and that is the one day I did not go to moms.

The garbage had picked up and I pulled the garbage can to mom's rear deck and opened the rear door to her home and got a trash liner to go in the can. All the lights are out in the house this morning and the first two lamps I tried would not work? The one in the kitchen had a bulb out and the one on her desk was unplugged from the wall. Humm? I wake mom and put some water on for her coffee and check on the linen closet where the bulbs are kept. The door is inoperable as someone has pulled the knob off and the inside knob has falled into the closed closet. Luckily I have enough larceny in me to able to 'loid' the door open and with my swiss army knife, put the handles back of the door. After replacing the bulb in the kitchen, I checked both of mom's bathrooms and wipe down everything with clorox cleanup and make sure she has plenty of TP paper she calls it, and change out her towels in each. Time flys when you are having a good time...

I check the mail and she has three bills to pay and SS has direct deposited her check, so these need paying plus balancing her checkbook. I get the eggs, bacon, bread, margarine out and set the table for two and start her breakfast. Mom is moving around but a little slow this am but I talk to her while I work and encouage her to come and watch Judge Joe's Justice on the 13 inch color TV in her breakfast room. I have to hunt for a clean apron as that is a must for her to do anything! Soon she is sitting at the table and looking for a place to put her purse which is her 'comfort blanket'. I soon have hot breakfast on both our plates along with hot coffee and OJ. But we always say the prayer my dad said when we were kids growing up at that very table so many years ago.

I soon finish my repass with her and get her checkbook and the bills and clear my side of the table to work while sitting with my mom. I paid the bills and luckily the checkbook balanced to the penny. I needed that. Mom had not finished her breakfast but I talk to her about taking her to the beauty shop at 1:30pm. I went to her closet and Peggy (caregiver) had washed a gray two piece suit for her to wear. I put all this out on her bed to remove any confusing about what to wear. I talk to mom about what she was to wear and I had placed it on her bed. I then made a grocery list and left to get her groceries and be back at least 30 minutes before we needed to leave.

I am back with her groceries within an hour but know to check where mom is in the process of dressing. It did not happen. She was asleep in the chair in her room across from her bed. I waked her and reminded her about the beauty shop and soon she was moving toward getting dressed. I finished getting the groceries out of the car and put them in her cabinets. I check on her again and she has picked out another top out of her closet. I help her get the right top on and she soon finishes on her on. While she is dressing, I get her medicine out of a lock box I put in the house and fix her day keepers of each medication she takes after each meal. I put these in a secure place the other caregivers know about so mother will get her Rx on a regulated and timely basis.

I help her out of the house and down the ramp and into the car and put her cane in the rear of the car. She loves the ride and remarks about how blue the sky is, or how green everything looks this spring. We have a 15 minute ride together and I turn off the radio so she and I can talk. We get to the beauty shop and she has short wait as they are as busy as ever. Two hours almost to the second, she is finished and ready to go. I pay Janet and make an appointment for her for next week.

I always call Peggy's cell phone when we leave the beauty shop or just before so she will be there when we get home. We get back home and I again back up the driveway and help mom into the house. She always looks better and seems to feel better after one of these outings. We all sit in the den and Peggy had done the dishes and mopped the kitchen so mom did not need to walk on a wet floor. This gave me a chance to give Peggy an update of how mom was doing, if she had had her medicine and when she ate last and how much. This too gives Peggy to tell me of any concerns she has observed the last day or two taking care of mom in the pm.

The best part of this adventure is when I tell mom goodbye at about 4:30pm, she always ask "when are you coming back?" "Tomorrow mom, and I will call you and fix your breakfast". She always says "Tell Karen I love her and drive carefully going home!".....That was my day, and it was a good day! How was yours? Jeff