Double Shift for Primary Caregiver

"Ring"...."Ring!" I pick the phone up on the second ring, "Hello!".....The voice on the other end of the line is my pm caregiver. "Mr. Nutter, I have a migraine headache and have taken something for it, but right now it is not working. If I get to feeling better later, I will call you and come in late, OK?". What do you say, "NO"? I told Peg to take care of yourself and let me know later if you can work tomorrow. Thanks for calling!

What else do you say? The words now that come to mind are "your it". We all played games and tag when we were kids and at sometime in the game, "you were it". That is me now! I have been with mom all morning and when Peg called I was fixing mom's lunch. Now it is calling my wife and letting her know I have the pm shift too and for her to go on with her dinner and I'll eat with mom and be home when I get there. Fortunately I have a loving and understanding wife and partner in life and she totally understands my responsibility. "OK love, and let me know when you leave your mom's OK!"

Mom has another son and a sister and a back up caregiver but we are approaching the Christmas holidays and everyone is busy shopping and decorating and I will need them when Karen and I go to Hickory, NC for our Christmas with the Clark family. That was Karen sole request when I ask her what she wanted for Christmas. I used this afternoon with mom to plan next weeks shifts and who needs to be where and when. There are still some holes in the shift coverage as some plan trips out of town with family as we are, so it is fill in the blanks as soon as possible.

It was a good afternoon with mom, cleaning, some light cooking, getting her recycles picked up and out as well as emptying all the trash baskets in her house and mopping and wiping off all the counters and kitchen table. I cannot sit when working and it is filling the sugar bowl, salt and pepper shakers, doing a run of underwear and PJs and dried and folded in her drawer in her bedroom. The time flew by as it does when you are working. I remember standing watches in the Coast Guard when you did not move, but had to stand in one place for 4 hours. I remember how tiring this was and the hours moved so slowly.

Mother dinner was at 6:30pm, clean up the kitchen again, and get mom to take her pm medicine which she fusses about everytime. But she did this for her son, somewhat reluctantly, but mission accomplished. I ask her one more favor by 7:15pm and that was to change into PJ's and a robe before I left. She looks at the clock in her bedroom "Jeff, it is only 7:15 and I don't go to bed until maybe 9:00pm. I will change then!" Jeff has to get his persuasive manners out and finally convince mom she needed to change before I left. She did finally.

There is a light sleeping pill in with her pm medicine and I know 30 to 45 minutes after taking this, she is ready for bed. Now by the time she got into her PJ's and robe, she had pulled the bed covers back and was cleaning her face which she does before retiring for the night. It is a good sign, as she has forgotten about the time and it is now how she feels.

I went back to the den and turned off the lights and put on my jacket. "You going Home!"...
"Yes, mom, it is almost 8:00pm and I have been here since breakfast!" She said "well, let me see you to the door and I will lock it behind you."....I got my goodnight hug and a promise to be back Saturday and she smiled at me as I left. I backed out of the driveway and here was that little lady watching me through the little window in the backdoor. I waved goodbye under her security light and she waved back. What is wrong with this picture I have drawn now in your mind, the reader? Nothing! Tired but leaving mom with the most fullfilled feeling all over. A very nice feeling. Merry Christmas to everyone from the Jeff Nutter family.

 Evan Jones

Now that our hearts are warmed, we can get through the day.