Jason is Smiling....

Karen and I left Birmingham Thursday June 16th, 7:00am that morning and drove to Hickory, NC to be with Karen's mom and dad and family now one year since Jason Chrisawn passed away.

Karen said mother's day really brought it home to her now Jason has been gone a year. She said "He has never stayed away or not called this long a time, and it hurts". I loved Jason the 15 years I knew him and soon he was my 3rd son. It is funny how this happens over time but love knows no boundaries and he got under my skin and into my heart like any kid or young adult that loves you can do...and do it very good.

Jason was a unique person, someone who did not fit into anyone's mold of how a young man should be? He was his own man. He made his life, his education, his work, his thing. We watched him mature into someone who could do things most of us could not do. He could mend or fix anything. He was not afraid to build anything or take on any task that you or I might shy away from. I admired that in him and watched in awe sometimes of things he could build.

God and Jason decided one day in June a year ago, it was time to go back home. We mourned then and celebrated his life. But now a year later, we want to find more closure on losing someone we all love so.

Saturday we all gathered in the garden next to the Northminster Presbyterian Church. James Barnhardt performed a short service for Jason and we placed Jason's last ashes below the boughs of a river birch tree. It is a craggy looking tree, with rough bark that peels off constantly like sheets of brown paper. That tree was one Jason would love.

Karen placed flowers below the tree marking the place where Jason's ashes settled. The Clarks have a plaque ordered for the memory wall that joins this garden so we have a place to go to remember Jason. When everything is in bloom, Jason is there smiling. When the leaves fall and the ground is cold and wet with our's and God's tears of rain, Jason is there.

We had a weekend surrounded by family that loves us and we love them in return. We are all hurting but like a scar from a bad fall, the scar is there but it does not hurt now like it did when it happen. Life is like that, and we have the losses, the scars, the memories but that is life. I take life over anything else less and give us the love of family and children, even though it hurts. The love and love of God over powers the hurt everytime.

We drove by Old Fort, NC where Jason passed away and Karen placed some flowers there, where Jason passed away. Jason loved his Scottish highland music and bagpipes and I had "Amazing Grace" on a CD and we played it before leaving, our way of telling Jason again we love him, are thinking about him and he was listening and smiling!

Thank you everyone for your support in helping us getting through this last week. Karen and I had to turn things loose here and put this memorial in front of everything. Jack and Peggy and Rebecca took care of mom. Lynda and Mathew took care of our little girl Gracie. Prayers and love held us up and we thank HIM for sharing Jason with us the time we had him.

Jason is smiling!

Natalee Holloway MISSING in ARUBA

I live in Vestavia Hills, Alabama and this city is next to Mountain Brook, Al where Natalee lived and went to school. We are so touched by this lady now missing over 300 hours on the island of Aruba. I hate to say this but missing this long, it is really slim that they find her alive.

Here is a cute, attractive blond young lady on her senior trip after graduation for High School. They fly to a Dutch isle of the coast of Venezula with the lowest crime rate and really statically one of the safest places to visit and vacation. But what happen that last night is anyone's guess. I have my own ideas so here goes.

They arrested yesterday the 3 young men she was with that last night. The one tall attractive dutch boy, who now admits he had 'romantic' ways with Natalee that last night. I really believe the 3 guys got her drugged or possibly drunk and she was defenseless in taking care of herself. They admitted being with her that fateful night and took her back to the Holiday Inn early Sunday morning. According to the H/I cameras and I am sure they have electronic locks or card locks on the room doors and each record if and when that person was in the room.

Was this a date that got out of hand. Did she resist his advances and suffer the consequences? Is he the son of a judge or political power person in Aruba that he felt his uncle could get him out of any scrape? What would Jeff do? I have maybe watched a little too much Law and Order or have too many attorneys in my family. I would hold all 3 over to the grand jury and see who wants less to spend the rest of his natural life in a Dutch jail. I know they can hold them for an extended time under Dutch law, and maybe under these circumstances, Dutch law is better than ours! No ACLU attorneys coming to their defense and tying up the judical system like they do here? I say, lets sweat these kids, but that is me!

The most important thing I would want to read about is the other 19 kids that she went to that club that night and what they saw and most of all "why did they leave their best friend"? I have two boys that went on similar trips and the buddy system was so strong and enforced, they went NO WHERE ALONE. One was even in Russia during the cold war and Chris was never without 2 or more friends with him. What happen to here? Where was Natalee's buddies? Where was her "best friend?" I promise you, she was there! Ask some kids these embarressing questions and let me read about it. I don't believe it will happen! But that is me!.....Jeff Nutter, Jr., Vestavia Hills, Alabama.

Me, Mom, Jack and Life

I apologize for not putting something up in over a week? Where did all the time go? Sometimes my life gets so busy I am like a mom with kids pulling on her apron strings, and not knowing what is coming next. But that is the adventure of what we call "life". I keep reminding myself that this is a journey not a destination, so enjoy the ride.

I begin with last Sunday and being sleep deprived. I go to bed each night about the same time and read a while but when 5:00am shows on my bedside table clock, I am up! Alarm? One is not needed. Sunday or Saturday night was the exception. We watched some TV together earlier and being the weekend, it was maybe 11:00 or 11:30pm before we hit the sack. The next thing I knew it was 10:15am the next morning? I rolled over with sunlight streaming through my bedroom window looking for my sweet wife. She was in the living room reading quietly.
I ask her "what happen"? She said I was sleeping so soundly when she got up about 8:30am she just left me alone. I cannot remember sleeping that long, ever? Nature must have said,,,"Sleep Jeff, you need it! It is catch up time". Who am I to argue with mother nature?

The week was filled with all the events that change and illuminate our times, but only I was there. Walter Cronkite signed off with that and it seems to fit. I took care of Zeiger business, selling something everyday, handling 3 deliveries, and inventory of the warehouse on Tuesday. I was at mom almost everyday, skipped Monday as Ms Rebecca came in at 10:00 to give me a break. Mom is doing fine and I almost forgot one part or the real reason for writing this...Here goes!

We have a NUTTCUTT reunion planned this weekend in Gadsden at Uncle Jim's home on the lake. Nuttcutt is a combination of NUTTer and NorthCUTT names giving it a well fitted name for this gathering. I got mom to the beauty shop Wednesday and got her spiffy for the gathering. A big part was handled by my brother Jack and he
did a better job that I could. Sometimes you just have to give folks a chance! I had a conflicting doctors appointment for mom and one for me both at 10:30am Thursday so I called on him to fill in for me.

Here is what brother Jack did for mom and for me. He went out early and got her ready for the trip to the doctor and her report was good and she had gained 2 pounds since her last visit. He got some samples of Aricept that mom's takes for dimentia and the doctor gave him over $135.00 worth. Good job. He got all her Rx renewed and took mom to the Apothecary to fill two that had expired. He then went to the bank and got his signature and copy of his drivers license on some CD's mom has there. He then drove mom to a nail salon and got her nails done and then home about 3:00pm. He had a full day with mom and told me later how much it meant to him to do this for her. I told him what he has been missing. You feel good, don't you! He said, yes, better than ever!

He and Vicki had done one other thing I failed to mention earlier. They went to Steinmart and got mom two outfits for the reunion and he got her to try on both before returning the other. She now has a new outfit, hair done, nails done, and I called two of her brothers yesterday and let her talk to them in Gadsden. It
was so funny she closed with "I won't sleep tonight looking forward to tomorrow!"

You Go mom!

90 Year Old Mom, My Joy!

I have a great gift given me in this life! That is to have my mother for my 67 years and having the opportunity to take care of her and return some part of the gift of life she gave me. I got to see myself through someone else's eyes yesterday.

I took mom to the beauty shop and noticed that her nails needed some attention. The shop has a nail salon and I ask if I could get a file and groom some of mom's nails. I got one of those nice professional files and pulled up a chair across from mom and took time to round and smooth all her nails and then watch her admire them after I finished.

I ask mom to check my work and see if I missed any rough spots? She folded her fingers back into the palm of her hand and told me they were great. One of the ladies waiting to get her hair 'fixed' noticed my actions and commented on how well my mom was doing especially at 90 years old. I told "Pat" she had good and not so good days, but today was a good one and she really enjoyed this outing.

I finished mom's nails and could not help but look across the room at the other ladies watching me. I saw nothing but smiles. They said nothing to me except for "Pat" but I saw their confirmation on what I was doing for mom. I am a modest person and this is not my motive, but how can I not acknowledge this?

You do things in this life that you think are work, or hard, but one event like this that affirms that what you are doing is correct and an act of love. I write this to give you a keyhole view of the joy of taking care of someone who 'needs' your care.

We drove back to her home and I notice that she was looking at her newly manicured nails and feeling their smooth edges in the palm of her hand. What a tiny small act that means so much to someone else. You never know!